What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What did the green light say to the red light?

I love you, but I'm sick of yellow light always breaking us up.

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

How can you tell if you're in Detroit or across the river in Windsor Ontario Canada?

Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada

How can you tell which end of a worm is which?

Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How could you tell that the figure skater was a mathematician?

Because of the Fibonacci sequins.

How does Harry Houdini tell people to steal stuff?

Straight jack it.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the interrupting cow cross the road?

MOOOOOO!!!!

Why did the cows cross the road?

They wanted to go to the mooo....vies

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How does it feel to have your head separated from your body?

It tears your apart.

Why did kurt pull the trigger?

He couldn't get hole out of his head

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you call a pig that's a lumber jack?

Well you call him porkchop

Why do pigs make good spies?

They're excellent at going in-hog-nito.