What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way?

We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So you'll never know which side he's on.

How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across Teacher: What do you mean Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

What did the Urologist tell his newly accepted resident?

Urine.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

What do you get when water washes away dirt?

A road

Why did the Chinese chicken cross the road?

The eggrolled

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How are a roof and quantum physics the same?

They both go over your head.

What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank?

Urine over your head!

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Because he felt like BACON!