What's that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head?

Didn't you tell me to put out a stop swine

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Red Light Jokes More Red Light Jokes

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan?

Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light Kia stoptima

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

Why was the virgins' wedding during the middle of the week?

Because Wednesday is hump day.

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Zelda tell Link when he couldn't unlock the door?

Triforce

How can you tell if a hippie has been at your house?

He's still there.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why was the Jack-o-Lantern afraid to cross the road?

He had no guts!

Why did the cat cross the road?

Because curiousity was on the other side

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How does Ohm conduct an orchestra?

Standing on his head!

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?

Rub him with oinkment.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.