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Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

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Space Jokes More Space Jokes

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?

Fo drizzle

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

Which place has the strongest gravity in the whole universe?

Bed

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Expand Jokes More Expand Jokes

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.