Space Jokes

What do you call a black man in space?

An astronaut.

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What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

How do you throw a party in space?

You planet

What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?

Space.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

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How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What did they call the sugar that went to space?

Intergalactose

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What do you call americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

How do you call a black man in space?

Nasa first called it Albert

Why your fingers have spaces in between?

Nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!

What do you call a starving robot from space?

A C3POpian

Why are sandwiches better in space?

They are always a bit METEOR!

What do you call a black guy that goes into space?

An Afronaut

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What do you call an ant in space?

Cosmonants & Astronants!

How much space does fungi need to grow?

As Mushroom as possible.

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks

What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

What do you call a space alien in a hoodie?

Treyvon Martian

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

What kind of currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

What do you call a migrant in space?

Illegal alien

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did the space between two tiles say?

I AM GROUT

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

What do you call a cashew in space?

An astronut.

What's the difference between Myspace and My space?

One Space.

What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?

Space

What do you call an Asian cow in space?

The Milky Wei.

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

What about the aliens from space?

We need a ROOF!

How much space is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

What are the scariest jokes in space?

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

Space. The final frontier..........

What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space?

NASA.

What do you call a Russian cat that's been to space?

A cos-meow-naut.

How do you send a dog to space?

Laika boss.

What do you call the space between a woman's enhanced breasts?

Ans: Silicon Valley.

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What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

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What is a nation inhabitated and reigned by stoners called?

A hallucination.

How do you get a stoner to comprehend what you're saying?

Put it bluntly.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What was the name of the meth cook who got caught stealing baked beans?

Heinzenburg

What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

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What happens when you throw a hand grenade into a kitchen?

Well, the mess is the same but the annoying jabbering stops.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

Attention Jokes More Attention Jokes

What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones?

Attention Basingers

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of suit does a bee wear to work?

A buzzness suit!

How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

Outer Space Jokes More Outer Space Jokes

How do you have a party in outer space?

You plan-et.

Why do dogs hate outer space?

Because they strongly dislike vacuums.