Space Jokes

What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

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How do you throw a party in space?

You planet

What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?

Space.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What did they call the sugar that went to space?

Intergalactose

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What do you call Americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

Why are sandwiches better in space?

They are always a bit METEOR!

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What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What do you call an ant in space?

Cosmonants & Astronants!

How much space does fungi need to grow?

As Mushroom as possible.

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks

What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

What kind of currency do they use in space?

Starbucks

What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did the space between two tiles say?

I AM GROUT

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

What do you call a cashew in space?

An astronut.

What's the difference between Myspace and My space?

One Space.

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

How much space is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

What are the scariest jokes in space?

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

Space. The final frontier..........

What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space?

NASA.

What do you call a Russian cat that's been to space?

A cos-meow-naut.

How do you send a dog to space?

Laika boss.

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Planet Jokes More Planet Jokes

What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?

A Dinosaucer

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

Nasa Jokes More Nasa Jokes

What on Earth did the NASA discover?

Nothing, it was on Mars

How does NASA organize a party?

They planet.

Stoner Jokes More Stoner Jokes

How did the stoner propose to his girlfriend?

Marriage, you wanna?

What do stoners ride to school?

The cannibus

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"

Where do people go when they die?

Me: Heaven. 3: I don't want to go there. Me: Why not 3: It's full of dead people.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces?

Natural logs.

Why was the clown kicked out of the maths lesson?

Because he kept throwing his pi in other peoples faces!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

Why do dogs make good sailors?

They know their knots.

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call it when a deer and a rabbit runaway together?

Jackaloping

What's the difference...?

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and deer nuts are just under a buck.