Space Jokes

What do you call a black man in space?

An astronaut.

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What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

How do you throw a party in space?

You planet

What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?

Space.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

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How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What did they call the sugar that went to space?

Intergalactose

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What do you call Americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

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What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

How do you call a black man in space?

NASA first called it Albert

Why your fingers have spaces in between?

Nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!

What do you call a starving robot from space?

A C3POpian

Why are sandwiches better in space?

They are always a bit METEOR!

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

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What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What do you call an ant in space?

Cosmonants & Astronants!

How much space does fungi need to grow?

As Mushroom as possible.

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks

What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

What do you call a migrant in space?

Illegal alien

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did the space between two tiles say?

I AM GROUT

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

What do you call a cashew in space?

An astronut.

What's the difference between Myspace and My space?

One Space.

What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?

Space

What do you call an Asian cow in space?

The Milky Wei.

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

What about the aliens from space?

We need a ROOF!

How much space is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

What are the scariest jokes in space?

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

Space. The final frontier..........

What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space?

NASA.

What do you call a Russian cat that's been to space?

A cos-meow-naut.

How do you send a dog to space?

Laika boss.

What do you call the space between a woman's enhanced breasts?

Ans: Silicon Valley.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why don't snakes have balls?

Because hardly any of them know how to dance.

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!

Prime Number Jokes More Prime Number Jokes

What's the difference between novocaine and an index finger?

One's a digit divisible by two, the other is a prime number.

What's the difference between the number 3 and David Cameron?

One's a prime number, the other's a prime minister.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

What's the thin line between love and hate?

A condom.

Space Man Jokes More Space Man Jokes

What do you do when you see a space man?

You park, man.

What do you do when you see a space man?

Park your car, man.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did quantum consciousness say to its son?

Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging.

What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

Bison

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between your dad and this joke?

This joke will be back someday

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

Why'd the mushroom go to the party?

Cause he's a fungi! Why'd the fungi leave the party Cause there wasn't mushroom!

How many extroverts does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's throw a party while we're at it.

Attention Jokes More Attention Jokes

How can I draw attention to the fact this skirt is too long?

AHEM!

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.