Space Jokes

What do you call a black man in space?

An astronaut.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do they call deers in space?

I don't know, they would probably die anyways.

What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

How do you throw a party in space?

You planet

What do you call a potato in space?

Spudnik

Why wasn't the astronaut paying attention?

Because he was spaced out.

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What do you give to an elephant who suffering from diarrhea?

Space.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

Which country has many spaces to put your car in?

Park-istan!

Why did the EU start downloading random stuff to it's computer?

It had freed up one GB of space.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How much space is left in EU?

1 GB

What did they call the sugar that went to space?

Intergalactose

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why are children's birthday parties never held in outer space?

Because I hear that in space there is no ice-cream.

Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

Because he needed his space.

What do you call Americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die?

Because they didn't Lajka.

What is the only man made object visible from space?

Holland.

What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts?

Silicon Valley.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What does Michael J Fox do when his son parks in his space?

He Park in son's space

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

What is the friend zone?

It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.

What did the astronaut from AA say in space?

Houston, I have a problem.

Why your fingers have spaces in between?

Nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!

What do you call a starving robot from space?

A C3POpian

Why are sandwiches better in space?

They are always a bit METEOR!

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend?

I need space.

What do you call the spaces between the bits on a comb?

Hair-vents.

What do you call peanuts in space?

Astronuts!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

Why is the universe expanding?

It needs more space.

How do you calm down an astronaut?

You give him space.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

What do you call an ant in space?

Cosmonants & Astronants!

How much space does fungi need to grow?

As Mushroom as possible.

What kind of currency do astronauts use in space?

Starbucks

What currency do they use in space?

Star Bucks.

Why did the left alt key and the right alt key break up?

They needed some space.

What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

What do you call a migrant in space?

Illegal alien

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

Why don't astronauts get hungry after being blasted into space?

Because they've just had a big launch.

What do you call the runs in space?

The floats

What did the space between two tiles say?

I AM GROUT

Why is call of duty infinite warfare set in space?

Because nobody liked it on earth.

What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?

I need some space.

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

How can you tell if a hamburger was grilled in space?

It's a little meteor.

What do you call a scientist that measures things in space?

A cosmetrologist.

Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

What do you call a cashew in space?

An astronut.

What's the difference between Myspace and My space?

One Space.

What's the most dangerous, predominantly black area known to man?

Space

What do you call wifi in space?

Mars Bars

What's the worst kind of joke?

Clickbait. Edit: Added a space which triggered someone.

What do they do with rope in space?

Tie Astro-knots.

How much space is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

What do you call a crazy bug that lives in space?

A lunar-tick

Why are there no astronauts on Twitch.tv?

Because in space, no one can hear you stream.

What are the scariest jokes in space?

Knock-Knock Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space?

He wanted to find Pluto!

How much space does the EU have left?

1GB

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?

Space. The final frontier..........

What do you call a space agency that doesn't go to space?

NASA.

What do you call a Russian cat that's been to space?

A cos-meow-naut.

How do you send a dog to space?

Laika boss.

What do you call the space between a woman's enhanced breasts?

Ans: Silicon Valley.

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Record Jokes More Record Jokes

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space. (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the pot-head name his son?

Bud.

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why do the ghosts never win races?

Because they're always dead tired. I stole this from plain and simple. Just straight up stole it. Why? Because it made me laugh and I didn't see it posted here before.

Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his Thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

Exist Jokes More Exist Jokes

What if a man existed w/one hand that's a steak and the other is lobster plus unlimited salad bar?

This is the plot of Edward Sizzlerhands

Why did the Dark Ages existed?

Because there were 'nights.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What dinosaur knows the most words?

Thesaurus.

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?

When there's white-out all over the screen

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What joke is the darkest?

Fire away please! I want to hear it all!

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Where did you learn to make ice cream?

Sunday school.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

What's the difference between white socks and red socks?

Students will most likely answer the color) Then you say, "yes, that's one difference but there's another: The White Sox play in Chicago and the Red Sox play in Boston!