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Why did the astronomer break up with his girlfriend?

He just needed some space.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

How did Jared Fogel lose 60 pounds?

He broke up with his girlfriend.

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

Why doesn't NASA send cows to space?

Because the stakes would be too high.

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

What's your emergency?

Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

How many girlfriends does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't know...

How did a Hispanic farmer propose to his girlfriend?

With arroz.

Astronomer Jokes More Astronomer Jokes

Why are astronomers so popular with the ladies?

Chicks dig stars.

What did the astronomer say to the telescope in lingerie?

Hubble, Hubble.