Zombie Jokes

What song do the zombies of Westeros sing?

The Brains of Castamere.

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What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What do you call a dead bee?

Zombie.

Why shouldn't you hang out with zombies?

They make rotten friends

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

What was the vegan craving when he got bit by a zombie?

GRRRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNNSSSS

What did the zombie say at the urinal?

I'm reliving myself.

What brand of underwear do zombies wear?

Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.

How do you turn a computer into a zombie?

Send it a byte. Kind of lame but I couldn't help myself.

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Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

What kind of food do zombies hate?

Fast food

Why did the zombie get a gym membership?

Gaaaainsss

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

What do vegan zombies crave?

GRRAAAAINS!!

What do you love most in the world?

Me: You & your brother 4yo: Oh Me: What about you 4yo: The fire tree in Plants vs. Zombies Me: Oh

Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?

He threw his arm out.

What kind of cereal do zombies like?

Kellog's All Brain

What do you call memories of zombies?

FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a lawsuit against a zombie?

Deceased and desist

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Who are the most intelligent monsters?

Zombies (because, Braiiiiiiins!!!)

What do you call a group of zombies watching The Sixth Sense while on a cruise?

High Seas Dead People

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps?

Walkers

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb?

I have made a grave mistake.

How do zombies celebrate Halloween?

They paint the town dead!

Why did the zombie cross the road?

To get his guts back. My three year old made that one up, I though it was pretty good

Why can't zombies play the blues?

Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.

Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party?

He didn't have the guts

What do you call a zombie that runs fast?

A zoombie.

Why was the zombie in such a rush to get to his book signing?

He had deadlines to meet

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Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

What's the safest place in Dallas during a tornado?

The Cowboys stadium, the only place there'll never be a touchdown

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why can't horses vote?

Cause their answer is always 'nay'. I'm sorry, I'll leave...

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between blue paint and red paint?

The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.

What's an "oying"?

This joke

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the dyslexic kid say to his parents at Christmas?

I love Satan

What did you hear about the tree who was in love?

He pined everyday.

Row Jokes More Row Jokes

What about my atm card which holds all my money?

Any 4 numbers in a row.

What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?

A receding hare line.

Dead Bee Jokes More Dead Bee Jokes

What do you call a dead bee?

Zombie.

What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee?

One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the diver say to the oyster?

I want that pearl! Don't be shellfish!

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did one stoplight say to the other stoplight?

Don't look! I'm changing!

What do you call a rooster looking at a vegetable patch?

Chicken Caesar Salad