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What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony?

One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it.

What's the difference between an erection and a Ferrari?

Whisper I don't have a Ferrari.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What did Ray Charles say when his wife told him she wanted a divorce?

I did not see that coming.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What do girlfriends and sperm have in common?

They both always seem to end up in your clothes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend?

With a John Deere letter.

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

45 Minute Jokes More 45 Minute Jokes

Why do girls take 45 minutes to get dressed?

The only improvement you can make is getting undressed.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

45 Pound Jokes More 45 Pound Jokes

What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes

What's the difference between Jared from Subway's gut and his junk?

He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.