Why did the nuke switch course?

Because a girl on the ground said "I have a boyfriend" later that day the nuke fell into depression

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why does a girl who uses chewing tobacco give the best head?

Because she's knows what to spit and what to swallow.

What do you call a girl who stands in the middle of a tennis court?

Annette.

Boyfriend Jokes More Boyfriend Jokes

What do you call a couch stuffed with chic peas?

A hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Depression Jokes More Depression Jokes

What happened to the road?

Depressions.

Why does rain make people sad?

Because they're in a depression.

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb and the other to kick the switch.

How many mods does it take to switch a light bulb?

Deleted

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!