The only improvement you can make is getting undressed.
About 45 pounds. What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend 45 minutes
Well, I went on a date. 45 minutes in I realized it was a turtle in a wig. "I'm sorry man" it's ok. still got laid.
Shake it off
You have to chew before you swallow.
He prefers his gut when it's down 45 pounds, and his junk when it's up 45 pounds.
A slow poke.
A slow poke!
SLOW CHILDREN PLAYING
Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.
Because he saw the salad dressing
Lettuce alone, without dressing...
Me: Out. I can't stand being hemmed in by four walls. Wife: How many walls has the pub got Five
If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone
Some people think God is real.
Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.
A girl has no name.
