Improvement Jokes

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

What would a pig name a chain of food stores?

Stop "N Slop Markets"

2016 Jokes More 2016 Jokes

Why is Hillary spelled with 2 L's?

One for 2008 and one for 2016.

Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics?

It was I, **RIO**!!!

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

Where do you go to meet the best fish?

It doesn't matter - any old plaice will do.

What do you call a meeting exclusively attended by pine, juniper and fir trees?

A coniference.

Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

How did the cavemen in the far east protect themselves?

They Rocked their doors.

What type of rock is this Holmes?

It's sedimentary my dear Watson!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

Anything you want. He can't hear you.

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?

A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants, and go the fridge!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat?

Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

A battery has a positive side.

Appearance Jokes More Appearance Jokes
Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird