Improvement Jokes

Why do girls take 45 minutes to get dressed?

The only improvement you can make is getting undressed.

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What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure?

An improvement.

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Rock Jokes More Rock Jokes

What does a rock put on when it stinks?

Geodorant.

What does The Rock said to his Girl Friend?

Im Stoned

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What are we supposed to do about it?

Dad replies: "I don't know honey, but I think, hitting him would be very wrong."

Why should you never hit people with violins?

Because violins is not the answer...

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit?

Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments.

Why do Stormtroopers never laugh?

Because they always miss the joke

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What do you call a cross dressed robot?

Android-gynous

Why should you avoid people dressed as celery?

They could be stalking you!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do single men live longer than married men?

Because they want to.

What do you call a bird who wants to have a different personality?

An alter eagle!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you get with a woman majoring in woman's studies?

I don't know but she'll never make as much as a man AND SHE KNOWS IT!

What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach?

A tangent