Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

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How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

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What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

Why don't women wear watches?

Because there's a perfectly good clock on the stove

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What's it called when a planet orbits its sun 8 times?

An orbyte

What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?

The first herd shot round the world!

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What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

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Why do worms taste like chewing gum?

Because they're wrigleys!

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.

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What do men dream of?

Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.