What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What do you think of Dracula films?

Fangtastic!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do proctologists like Facebook?

It's another chance to look up old friends.

How do babies get out of bellies?

ME: "Look! Ice cream!" *5 min later* 3YO COVERED IN ICE CREAM: "How do babies get out of be---"

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a man with no hands and a book?

A read-only man.

Where's your wedding ring?

I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

How does a flight of steps check out a woman?

It stares.

What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?

Sea it and Wave

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage?

It was wrong on so many levels.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

How old is your Grandma?

I dunno but we've had him a long time.

Why was the blonde staring at the box of orange juice for a long time?

Because it said "CONCENTRATE"

Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

Why were Wrigley, Doublemint, and Orbit watching CNN?

To find out the latest on gum control legislation.