What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low?

She thought it was Diet Coke.

What does the cannibal think after seeing a wheelchair user?

Meals on Wheels

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why shouldn't you look at a cup of ranch?

Because it's still dressing.

What was the lonely chemist looking for?

AgF

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.

What would Santa Claus be called if he had no hands?

Canta Plaus.

Stare Jokes More Stare Jokes

How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?

He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.

What do you call a hen staring at a lettuce?

A chicken Caesar salad.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

What happened to the thick yellow liquid that committed a crime?

It was taken into custardy.

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes a really long time, and the lightbulb has to want to change...

Why did Captain Kirk take such a long time in the washroom?

Because he was fighting the Klingons.

Cnn Jokes More Cnn Jokes

How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?

Two. One to launch it one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

How many Syrians does it take to launch a missle?

Two. One to launch it, and one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.