What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

When do e-mails stop being in black and white?

When they are read.

When are YOU going to start having kids?

Me: When are you going to stop

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about.2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

House Jokes More House Jokes

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day?

SINGLE

What do you call a guy who always phones people?

Colin.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

She threw out all the W's.

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.