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Decompose Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

Love Card

Love Card

What's the difference between a musician and a dead body?

One composes, the other decomposes...

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

Why did the stressed out zombie go on vacation?

He needed some time to himself to decompose.

What's Mozart doing?

Decomposing.

What is Beethoven doing right now?

Decomposing.

What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days?

They're both Decomposing

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

What's Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's decomposing.

What is mozart doing nowadays?

Decomposing

What does the calm zombie say to the agitated zombie?

Decompose yourself.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

What do songwriters do after they die?

They decompose

What do you think Mozart is doing right now?

Decomposing.

What did Beethoven do when he died?

Decompose.

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Accomplish Jokes More Accomplish Jokes

What was the last thing Beethoven accomplished?

Decomposing

Why is steak harder to cook than spinach?

It takes a lot more thyme to accomplish.

Plug Jokes More Plug Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

How can you tell who's the head nurse at a hospital?

It's the one who has knee pads on.

What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses?

If one bit you you could ride it to hospital!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do grandparents have so many clocks?

So they won't run out of time

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What do vegetables watch when they're feeling frisky?

Cornography

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable?

A common tater!

Pretend Jokes More Pretend Jokes

Why was the UKIP voter angry?

Because he didn't like the look of the Poles (for this to make sense, pretend the UK election hasn't happened yet)

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

Compose Jokes More Compose Jokes

What is Mozart doing right now?

De-composing

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do you call a computer that says hello to you when you start it up?

A Dell.

Why did the clown started his soccer career?

For kicks and giggles.