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Grave Jokes

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

Your Age Is Only Math
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How do parents in Africa celebrate their kid's first birthday?

They bring flowers to his grave.

What did Mozart and Beethoven do whilst in the grave?

Decompose

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because they both drove Edgar Allen Poe straight into the grave.

What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it?

Unbereavable.

What's Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's decomposing.

What do you call it when a cremated person spins in their grave?

An Urn-ado.

How do you know when a white girl recently visited her friends grave?

There's Starbucks next to the headstone.

What would Jimi Hendrix be doing today if he was still alive?

Trying to get out of his grave.

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

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Build Jokes More Build Jokes

Why did the nickel jump off the building but the dime didn't?

The dime had more cents.

Why did the prison board decide to build the new prison out of concrete?

The old one was made of steal.

Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?

Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

It's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

Whats baked every day and sells itself?

My sister.

Batman Jokes More Batman Jokes

What did Batman give Doctor Freeze with his whisky?

Just-ice

What is Batman's favorite sport?

Baseball.

Ethiopian Jokes More Ethiopian Jokes

How do you recognize a rich ethiopian?

He only wears Rolex around his waist.

What's the fastest land animal on earth?

An Ethiopian chicken

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does HONDA stand for?

Hold On, Not Done Accelerating.

What should it sound like when it's connecting?

Guy in the back stands up confidently Pterodactyls

Pyramid Jokes More Pyramid Jokes

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!