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Why was the Texan afraid of the clock?

Because it reminded him that time was moving forward.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why shouldn't you be friends with a broken clock?

Because it won't even give you the time of day.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

Why did the parasite listen to the clock?

Because it liked the tick talk.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!

Remind Jokes More Remind Jokes

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Why do Americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked?

He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"