What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around?

Because time will tell.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How do you catch a whale?

You wait until last call and use a good pick up line.

Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

Worm Jokes More Worm Jokes

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global Worming.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Noah Jokes More Noah Jokes

Where did Noah park his fish?

The carp-ark.

Why didn't Noah go fishing?

He only had two worms!

Ark Jokes More Ark Jokes

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.