How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology?

A Buy-ologist.

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What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a member of the Westboro Baptist Church?

A retarded gorilla

How many members of the coalition does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"We are not prepared to comment on specific numbers at this time."

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What does prison have in common with biology?

Cell culture.

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.