Customer Jokes

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

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Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Why don't many customers go to the tea house?

Because the prices are so steep

Who earns a living driving their customers away?

A taxi driver

What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

What did the shoe say about the customer who didn't like that it had yellow shoestring?

That's lacist.

Why was the juice company losing customers?

There was no punch-line.

How do genetically engineered car salesmen from Boston greet their customers?

Hey, gattaca? GATTACA?

What does a fish say when he hits concrete?

Dam! A customer told me that joke, equipped with an " old guys rule" shirt and a hardy fist bump.

What did the customer say to the overworked seamstress?

Wow, you seamstressed out.

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

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What do you call customers at Lidl?

Lidl people.

What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer?

Shoes wisely

How did you find your steak sir?

Customer: Oh I just moved the potatoes and there it was!

What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop?

I cant decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

What did the server say when the customer requested something they didn't have?

404

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl?

This is unacceptable.

Who drives away all his customers?

A taxi driver.

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Which format are the images you send?

Customer: "Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."

What did the grocery store owner say to the customer that asked him if he sold tires?

He shrugged and said, "I've got asparagus."

Who drives away all of his customers?

A taxicab driver.

What did the customer say to the barber after looking at a facial hair catalog?

I moustache you a question about this style shown here, good sir.

Why did Renault name a car "Le Car"?

So customers wouldn't accidentally drive Le Lawnmower to work.

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

Complain Jokes More Complain Jokes

Why do gingers always complain about uncomfortable shoes?

Because they have no inner-soles

How many black metalheads does it take to change a light bulb?

100. 1 to change the light bulb and the other 99 to complain about how the old light bulb was much better.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How do you turn a duck into a blues singer?

Leave it out in the sun until its Bill Withers

How much poutine was left after the hockey game?

Nunavet

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why is it hard to work at an apple pie factory?

They have such a high turnover rate.

Who's there! Bach! Bach who?

Bach to work!

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

Tear gas.

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving?

It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper?

Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.

Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?

Because he had a stinking cold!

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

What do you call an Asian lobster?

A crustasian