What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Budists does it take... How many Budists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The change, if needed, will come from within.

What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

What do you call a bunch of Asian bears roaring?

Panda-monium.

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What's the difference between an onion and an accordion?

No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

Tomatoe Jokes More Tomatoe Jokes

What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

What do you call five tomatoes?

A tom-a-FOOT! In Europe, they call it a tom-a-METER.