How's my life?

Let's just say I'm starting a lot of sentences with "let's just say".

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Why are you letting people touch your new born?

I don't let people touch my new iPhone

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why have all these complete strangers started to poke around outside my window?

They wanna peek-a-chu.

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

What has a bottom at its top?

My life (..)

What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

Why are burglars such good tennis players?

Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

How to use green, yellow, and pink in a sentence?

The phone goes green, green, green, I pink it up, and say yellow.