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Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did the Asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What did I say when my Neutrogena products worked?

Well I'm glad I've gotten that cleared up

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

How did I get the balls to write such a grotesque joke?

Gruesome.

Tum Jokes More Tum Jokes

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man?

WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

What did the annoyed husband tell his wife after she saw elk falling from the sky?

Sigh* That's not elk... That's just reindeer.

Caveman Jokes More Caveman Jokes

What did the dinosaur say to the caveman?

RAWR!

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

Pho Queue Jokes More Pho Queue Jokes

What do you call a lineup at a Vietnamese restaurant?

A Pho queue

Where are you when you're in the U.K. waiting for Vietnamese soup?

Pho queue

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is robin going to get for Christmas?

An oviposition set

What's an atheist's favorite Christmas movie?

Coincidence on 34th Street