Ugh Jokes

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

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What did the Asian say when he saw a line at the local soup kitchen?

Ugh.... Pho queue...

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

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Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

Why do pirates have trouble walking?

Arrrr-thritis

What do we do now?

He said never mind we'll walk.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Why thank u.. are u single?

She:No, I'm a dentist

How does a poor man watch TV?

With binoculars. u know, he has to watch whatever the neighbours are watching.

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

What do you see as your biggest weakness?

ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself

What's your strength?

Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.

Car Window Jokes More Car Window Jokes

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

Rub it rub it rub it.

Why couldn't the Chinese herpetologist see out his car window?

Because it was too froggy outside.

Approach Jokes More Approach Jokes

What do you call a bag that never approaches anything?

An asymp-tote*

When she approached my car window I asked what's wrong officer?

She said "ugh nothing!"

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something.

Why is the last chapter in a chemistry textbook about benzene?

Because it's the PHENYL CHAPTER :D I came up with this myself. I'm so proud.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse!

Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?

The balls are lighter and you don't have to change shoes.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts?

Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.

How do rabbits get to work?

By rabbit transit!