Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours.
20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*
She had mittens on.
Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her.
They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.
Pink eye
Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.
Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength.
There's only two candidates, and nobody wants either of them to win!
Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!
Applicant: Well that depends, what's the complaint? Interviewer: He's complaining that his burger had onions on it, even though he specifically asked they were to be removed. Applicant: Well I'd start by telling him he's in the retail section.
I'm a bad decision maker.
Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...
