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What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

How's everyone else holding up?

Anyone know why they all have bags of candy

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

What would be the worst meal for a football wife?

OJ and Rice

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Fast Car Jokes More Fast Car Jokes

What does a bag of rice and an onion do when they get into a fast car?

They pilaf. I'll show my way out

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

Pilaf Jokes More Pilaf Jokes

How does a rice burner start a street race?

With a pilaf.

What did the getaway driver do after his accomplice, Rice, robbed the bank?

Pilaf.