Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

Previous Random Joke Next

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Why are your eyes red?

Are you high! flashback to me cry-singing Taylor Swift's "Love Story" in the car on the way over me: Yes

Why are blondes bad a judging distance?

They have no idea what 12 inches actually looks like. I for some reason could not find a way to phrase this any better. Credit to my coworker.

Amy Schumer Jokes More Amy Schumer Jokes

Why couldn't Barbie get pregnant?

Because they cast Amy Schumer and Ken couldn't get the job done.

How do you get Amy Schumer, Rosie O'donnell and Lena Dunham to move to Canada?

Piece of cake.

Medium Jokes More Medium Jokes

Why did Amy Schumer go to a psychic?

Because it's the only way she'll ever get near a medium.

Why couldn't the fortune teller fit into her shirt?

Because she's a medium