How does a psychic open a bag of chips?

They Tarot.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

Whats the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!