How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Previous Random Joke Next

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did the Mexican push his wife off the building?

Te-quil-a

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How many Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one... But it takes 4 episodes and Krillin dies...

How do you spell no?

Me: Sound it out. What makes the na na na na na na na na na sound 4: Batman (Spelling is hard)

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Whats the V in DVD stand for?

Cuz if it were lying down it wouldnt make any sense. (first post to reddit, made up this joke today.. be kind)

What do you call an uncertain insect today?

A May bee.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

Why do 2 bit gamblers never win at blackjack?

Because they can only count to 3.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What's your least favorite race?

I personally can't stand 5K's

What's Terrance Howard's favorite Radiohead song?

1 x 1 = 2) + 2 = 5"

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why did the Rabbi stop buying beer?

Hebrewed his own

Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?

Hebrews.

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How do you count cows?

You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.

How do you make an apple puff?

Chase it round the garden

19 Jokes More 19 Jokes

How do you stop being an 18 year old Virgin?

Turn 19

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

19. Got a problem with that?