19 Jokes

How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

19. Got a problem with that?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How many rudeboys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. 1 to drop it, 19 to go "Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up".

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

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How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts?

Fetus Deletus

What's the best part about abortions?

They never get old

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What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

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What is the difference between a girl from London and a Kitkat?

You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.

What'd you do?

PERSON: Ran a half-marathon and helped my pal move. You ME: I talked to like 4 people.

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What's the problem when your wife walks out of the kitchen?

The chain is too long.

Why is the Math Book so sad?

It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.

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How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop him a line.

What animal is faster than a cheetah?

A cow dropped out of a helicopter.

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Why did the wizards wife have hickeys on her neck?

Because he was a neck-romancer....

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

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