Diabetes Jokes

Why is diabetes like a fumble recovery?

Because you didn't know they had it.

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What did Santa get the day after Christmas?

Diabetes

What does Jimmy have?

Diabetes. Jimmy has diabetes.

Which knight of the round table had Diabetes?

Sir Lance-a-lot

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

What does BoB have Now?

He have diabetes

What does he have now?

Diabetes. Bob has diabetes.

What does Max have now?

Diabetes.

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards

What do I have now?

Oh, I do not know, DIABETES MAYBE!

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Knight Jokes More Knight Jokes

Where does monty python buy his water?

From the knights Da-sa(y)-NI! This joke is best delivered verbally.

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

Pet Jokes More Pet Jokes

What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake?

You can make a pet out of a snake!

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What did the mailman ask his girlfriend?

Will you envelope with me? (I know its Corny, but it makes me chuckle.)

What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend?

Elixir.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

How do you tell the difference between an electrician and an electrical engineer?

Ask them to pronounce the word, "unionized".

Lollipop Jokes More Lollipop Jokes

What do Twitter users and lollipops have in common?

They're mostly Dum Dums.

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

Jimmy Jokes More Jimmy Jokes

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do you call someone who talks to others in public restrooms?

A urinarrator.

What do you call the family members of the Force?

Force-kin My friend made this up today while talking about Star Wars.