Max Jokes

Why is Max always late?

Hey guys be here at 8:15 pm, max 8:30"

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What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

What does Max have now?

Diabetes.

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

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Chrome Jokes More Chrome Jokes

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser?

Chrome

Blonde Jokes More Blonde Jokes

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.

Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

Because red means stop.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why did the old lady cover her mouth with her hands when she sneezed?

To catch her false teeth.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his drink before it was cool

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call a corn cob on a track team?

A maize runner. Credit goes to my girlfriend.

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did GabeN tell his wife when she shouted "shut your hole" at him?

Babe, it's a valve!

How Do You Get Stoned in Ancient Rome?

Start shouting Jehovah.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why does John Snow wear a Rolex?

Because he's a man of the nice watch

What was the man running around?

From my 5yr old son Because he wanted to catch some sleep.