What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

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What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables?

Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair.

How do you find a white person in the condiment aisle?

UM EXCUSE YOU THAT'S RACIST!!!!----oh look, there they are!

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What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal?

The element of some fries.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

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How many vegetables should you pull out of the ground in one day?

None

What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?

Shoot him again.

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What do you do when a Chemist dies?

You Barium.

What do you do with dead chemists?

Barium