What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

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Why doesn't UGA ever have a nativity scene at Christmas?

Because they can't find three wise men and a virgin.

Where are most fish found?

Between the head and the tail!

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What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium!

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What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

How long does it take to reach the ground from 100 stories up?

The rest of your life.

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What do you do to a scientist after he dies?

You Barium.

What do you do when a Chemistry teacher dies?

Barium