Element Jokes

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

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What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

MOVIES!

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium!

What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element?

XeNON.

What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal?

The element of some fries.

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Helium Jokes More Helium Jokes

Why is Helium so trustworthy?

Because HE's noble.

Why do scientists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you'd barium!

Form Jokes More Form Jokes

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

Tin Jokes More Tin Jokes

What is it called when you throw a tin can into a recycling bin?

A recycling TIN!

What's the most capable element?

Tin, because tin can.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late?

Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late!

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Oxygen Jokes More Oxygen Jokes

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element?

XeNON.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?

I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

Who is missing an egg?

There are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

Where's the nearest cycle path you meant?

Thought you said psychopath.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear about the submarine industry?

It really took a dive...

What happened to the man who went to court for making deafening noises?

He lost his hearing.