Element Jokes

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

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What do you cast a containment device out of element 28 in?

MOVIES!

What element can you find in almost any shoe store?

Heelium!

What element can combine with two nitrogens and an oxygen, and still have there be only one element?

XeNON.

What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

What elements make up life?

Lithium and Iron

Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal?

The element of some fries.

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Teenager Jokes More Teenager Jokes

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

What was the buffalo's last words to his teenager as he sent him off to college?

Bison

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

How do you find a blonde on reddit?

Look for the comments that just say "huh "

How many people does it take to tell a joke on reddit?

Two. One to post the joke and one to post a better punchline in the comments.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What do you call a bottle of glue in a spy's pocket?

A bonding agent.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

Cast Jokes More Cast Jokes

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What is a Budget?

An orderly system for living beyond your means.

What does amnesia mean?

Someone told me but I forgot.

Medical Element Jokes More Medical Element Jokes

Why do scientists call helium, curium and barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium, you'd barium!

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

Why couldn't the spotty cat chase the sheep?

Because her Mum wouldn't leopard be a shepherd

What do I have in common with neutrinos?

We are both constantly penetrating your mum.

Helium Curium Jokes More Helium Curium Jokes

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

Why do scientists call Helium, Barium and Curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, You'd Barium!