What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to the fish?

Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.

What Happens When You Cross A Programmer And A Musician?

An Algo-rhythm.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies?

Meet me - oh, right..

What will i do when i die?

Idk!

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What do you get when you cross peanuts and almonds?

Deez Nutz

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

Why do we say dogs are man's best friend? Why not say dogs are man's and woman's best friend?

Because diamonds are a woman's best friend.

Why was the diamond depressed?

He had been under a lot of pressure lately.