What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What happened when the Mrs. Smith's truck collided with the Tastykake truck?

Pyrex

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Which movie is on every man's bucket list?

Die Hard

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

Who's there! Almond! Almond who?

Almond the side of the law! Kn

Diamond Jokes More Diamond Jokes

What do you call two diamonds in a healthy relationship?

Carbon dating

Why did the archaeologist ask a diamond out to dinner?

Because of his enthusiasm for Carbon-Dating.