Tonight Jokes

Who is going to win tonight's presidential election?

The Voyager Probe, speeding away from Earth at 38,000 mph.

What are you watching tonight?

The game where players make enough money to risk getting brain damage, or the debate where the players already have brain damage?

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

What did the grave robber say to his gym buddy in the locker room?

I'm gonna get some head tonight.

Why is The Hulk going to get laid tonight?

Because he is stronger than you.

How did the mystic respond when asked what he's doing tonight?

Your mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

April Sale

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).