De Jokes

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

Love

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-Nile

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

Who Loves Debates?

De fishes

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

What did the Chinese man say when he found out his mother died?

I can't bereave it!

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Why doesn't Mexico ever win any medals in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already crossed the border.

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's a let down Chinese lobster called?

A crushed Asian

What are Jehovah witnesses called in Chinese?

Dind Dong

Grouch Jokes More Grouch Jokes

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

7th Jokes More 7th Jokes

What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade?

He was having a mid-life crisis.

What kind of people like Scottie's hair?

Chubby 7th grade girls!

Definition Jokes More Definition Jokes

What's the definition of macho?

Jogging home from your vasectomy.

What's te definition of a bachelor pad?

A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator.