De Jokes

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-Nile

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

Who Loves Debates?

De fishes

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

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Outlet Jokes More Outlet Jokes

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

The outlet

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Where are people in Dallas staying to avoid getting Ebola?

The Cowboys Stadium. Because they can't catch anything there.

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog

Lesbian Jokes More Lesbian Jokes

What is said at the conclusion of a lesbian marriage ceremony?

You may fist the bride

What Kind of Motorcycles do Lesbians ride?

Chowasaki. - Pat H.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did Eli Manning didn't react to the Broncos winning the Superbowl?

Because the fine bros would sue.

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What did the elevator say to the stairs?

Never mind, I'll escalator

Why does riding in an elevator make ghosts happy?

It lifts spirits

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Why did the pasta get in trouble?

Because he was stroganoff!

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What's better than a tall woman wrapping her legs around you?

A short woman trying like hell.

Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?

Because eggs were going up!