De Jokes

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

Love

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket?

Because he was in de-Nile

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

What do you call a veal-birthing cow?

De-calf

Who Loves Debates?

De fishes

What is Beethoven doing in his grave?

He's de-composing! Happy Halloween everyone.

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How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

What Pokemon would you catch in Rio de Janeiro?

Zikachu.

Tour De France Jokes More Tour De France Jokes

Who won the first Tour de France?

The Panzer SS 1st Division

How do you feel about the upcoming Tour de France?

I'm gonna give 110%

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What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)