Oscar Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?

When he takes out the trash

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

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What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why did Adele crawl under the cow?

To say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

How many black Oscar nominees would it take (compared to white nominees) to satisfy the boycotters?

Three-fifths as many seems like a generous offer.

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

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Because it's just-ice

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They're all Renaissance Italian artists.

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

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February 14th.

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RemindMe! 2 days to edit this post

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What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

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What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

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What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

What are you in the bathroom?

European

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What kind of triangle jokes can never be made right?

Ones with an obtuse angle.

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

Revenant Jokes More Revenant Jokes

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.