Oscar Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

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Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

Because he finally got it

What kind of bear is best?

One that gets you an oscar

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Why did Leonardo Take forever to laugh at my Oscars joke?

Cause he just got it!

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

When is the closest Leo will get to an Oscar?

When he takes out the trash

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

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What's the similarity between a Spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

Why did Adele crawl under the cow?

To say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

What's the difference between Sesame Street and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

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Leonardo Di Caprio Jokes More Leonardo Di Caprio Jokes

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

Why did Leonardo Di Caprio laugh at the Oscar joke?

He finally got it!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

What the difference between a feminist and a pencil?

The pencil has a point

Grouch Jokes More Grouch Jokes

One Jokes More One Jokes

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?

Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the Olympic Games?

All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

Rio De Janeiro Jokes More Rio De Janeiro Jokes

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.