What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

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What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

How many graduate students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but it takes nine years.

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How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

What happens when your favorite team wins the World Cup?

You turn off your playstation.

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What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

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What do politicians and sperm have in common?

About 1 in every 600 million has a chance of becoming a human.

What are the chances of familiarising myself with a semiaquatic amphibian to the point of ownership?

My newt.

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Why did Adele crawl under the cow?

To say hello from the udder side. I'll take my Oscar now.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

Dicaprio Jokes More Dicaprio Jokes

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.