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What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's the difference between 2015 and Moore's Law?

One's the year of the ram, the other is the ram of the year.

Why are cigarette taxes such a safe bet right now?

One way or the other, there's going to be a lot of smoking over the next four years.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why did Eli Manning didn't react to the Broncos winning the Superbowl?

Because the fine bros would sue.

Where the hell did you get?

The barkeep asks. "I won it, playing cards", says the pig.

Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes More Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's.

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do you call girls that have a chance of winning?

Chicken Tenders.

What do sperm and politicians have in common?

About 1 in every 500 or 600 million have a chance at becoming human.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What's the real reason Lego Movie didn't get nominated for an Oscar?

They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".

Dicaprio Jokes More Dicaprio Jokes

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.