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Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's.

Love

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

Birthday State of Mind

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Birthday State of Mind

What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is Matthew McConaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Dicaprio Jokes More Dicaprio Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

Rye Jokes More Rye Jokes

What did one piece of bread say to the sad piece of bread?

Its going to be all rye.

What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What should I buy for dinner?

I see frozen peas are cool this time of year...you might say that's a corny joke, but it's really not. It's a pea joke.

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner?

She doesn't, she's dead

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What's the difference between my guitar and my girlfriend?

My guitar doesn't yell at me when I snap it's g-string

What does velcro yell as it charges into battle?

ATTACH!

Lincoln Jokes More Lincoln Jokes

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Which president was least guilty?

Lincoln, because he is in a cent.

Scholarship Jokes More Scholarship Jokes

What do you call a vessel full of academics?

A scholarship

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

Original Joke Jokes More Original Joke Jokes

What gets you a downvote?

Reposting an old joke that wasn't funny the first time. What gets you an upvote? Posting an original joke, or a funny joke I've heard before. What get's you 5 upvotes? Being

What sound does a debugging Web Developer make?

Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. Open, Close!.................. *only true Web Developers will understand* *original joke*

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.