Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's.

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What did Matthew McConaughey say about Steve Bannon's followers?

They're alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

Who does Matthew McConaughey say is the most dangerous group in America?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

What does Matthew McConaughey think about an all white, Republican Government?

Altright, altright, altright

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What does Asian Matthew McConaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is Matthew McConaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

What did Matthew McConaughey have to say about the 2016 Oscar-winner's line-up?

All white, all white, all white!

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Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

How do you stay hidden in the Desert?

Camal-Flage

Sandwich Jokes More Sandwich Jokes

How do you know that God isn't a woman?

Because I'm not a sandwich.

What does Fabrizio like to put on his sandwiches?

Mustardo!

Racist Jokes More Racist Jokes

What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

What did the racist ask Santa for?

A white Christmas.

Favorite Bread Jokes More Favorite Bread Jokes

What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread?

Sour-Doh!

What is Matthew McConaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

Three... The one on the left The one on the right And of course, the Final Front Ear

What did the blondes left leg say to her right?

Nothing... They've never met

Lincoln Jokes More Lincoln Jokes

Which president was the most logical?

Lincoln. He made the most cents.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Who's there! Anne! Anne who?

Anne apple just fell on my head!

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

Becuase his peckers on his head

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did your sister feed money to her cow?

Because she wanted to get rich milk.

Want to hear my pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.