Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

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What do you call a conservative Matthew McConaughey?

All right all right all right.

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

What did Matthew McConaughey yell at the drive that was about to miss his turn?

A right a right a right!

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What is Matthew McConaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

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What is Matthew McConaughey favorite bread?

All rye all rye

What is Homer Simpsons favorite bread?

Sour-Doh!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do a blonde and a car have in common?

They can both drive you crazy.

What car do polite cowboys drive?

Audi!

Rice Jokes More Rice Jokes

Why did the Chicken cross road?

With rice.

What is the healthiest college?

Rice

Rye Jokes More Rye Jokes

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.

What kind of bread always goes wrong?

A rye

Dicaprio Jokes More Dicaprio Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke?

Because he didn't get it.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the best thing about turning 65?

No more calls from insurance salesmen.

Who turns the lights off at Halloween?

The light's witch!

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race?

He couldn't get a head.

What did the monkey say when he was on a winning streak?

I've banana roll lately.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.