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How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

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What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House?

All right, all right, all right..

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Why were the sandwich fillers eyes too close together?

Because he was in-bread.

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

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What 2 books do white American boys enjoy reading on their way to school?

The Catcher in the Rye and Cooking For Dummies.

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.