What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

How can you tell if Asians have broken into your house?

The dog is gone, the homework is done, and they're still trying to get out of the driveway.

What does one dog say to the other when he just broke up with his girl friend?

Go and retrieve her!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When do clocks die?

When their time is up.

Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time?

They're way too into Stalin

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Where does Ben Carson spend most of his time on Reddit?

R/explainlikeimfive

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the homeless yogi say when told to leave the yoga studio?

Nah, I must stay.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do with most of his time?

Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How can a man go 7 days without sleeping?

Sleep at night

Where does Max Planck go for a night out?

To the h-bar

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you do when you hear a woman got hit by a car?

Wonder how the hell a car got into the kitchen

What are they doing?

Now I wonder the same thing.