What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why can kangaroos jump higher than a house?

Because a house can't jump.

How does a vampire clean his house?

With a victim cleaner.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Who me?

Ohhh, I'm just driving around town, painting "free candy" on the side of creepy looking vans.

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

To hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes More Matthew Mc Conaughey Jokes

How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches?

On rye on rye on rye.

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he got a scholarship?

Fulbright, fulbright, fulbright...

Colour Jokes More Colour Jokes

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.