Colour Jokes

What colour did Matthew McConaughey want his house to be painted?

All white, all white, all white.

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What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

What colour is eight?

Purple (According to my 3 year old son)

What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are?

Four different answers

What colour are my eyes?

Guy: 34C.

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

How are you related to the sun?

Because your teeth are the same colour as it.

What kind of ant can you colour with?

A crayant!

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many communists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One guy to screw in the light bulb, and the other guy to shoot him if he doesn't do it right.

How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

China Jokes More China Jokes

Why are families only allowed 1 child in China?

The government is opposed to euthanasia.

Who is your favorite President of China?

According to her it's Mao.

3 Year Old Jokes More 3 Year Old Jokes

Why does the house only have one window?

Cheeseburger (joke from my 3 year old neice this evening)

What did you do at preschool?

3-year-old: We had to color inside the lines the WHOLE time. Me: 3-year-old: I need to lie down.

Michael Jackson Jokes More Michael Jackson Jokes

How is Michael Jackson like the thousands of people outside times square on New Year's?

Once the balls drop, They're no longer interested!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Gary Glitter?

10 "number 1's" and a not guilty verdict

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

How do pirates agree with each other over long distances?

With their aye-phones.

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you call a person that constantly hunts for karma?

A predditor. EDIT:

What do you call a person who is outstanding in their field?

A farmer

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

What's the difference between Jesus and the painting of the Last Supper?

You only need one nail to hang the painting.