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What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

Stock Broker Jokes More Stock Broker Jokes

What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.