What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

How do you win the vegetable race?

You need to get ahead of lettuce

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Stock Broker Jokes More Stock Broker Jokes

Why did the woman's visit to Wall Street land her in the hospital?

Because the stock broker!

What do you get when you cross a stock broker, a detective, and an alligator?

An investigator.