What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.

Why does Oregon Ducks need such big suitcases?

Because they Pac-12 of everything.

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How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

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Why did the woman's visit to Wall Street land her in the hospital?

Because the stock broker!

What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS