Gain Jokes

What is the life motto of a Frenchman?

No gain no pain.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Coffee Mug

What does Apu say when people leave him to browse reddit?

Thank you, Karma gain

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.

How do you get an anorexic to gain 25 pounds?

Marry her.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning?

Straight talk.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

How can you tell your boyfriend has gained weight?

You fit into his clothes.

How do you make a girl gain weight?

Marry her.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

Why did the duck leave the dancefloor?

He didn't want to get down on it.

Service Jokes More Service Jokes

When is the only time when No shirt no shorts no shoes gets you service?

If you're a surfer and you're getting head.

What's the biggest lie of the Universe?

I Have Read and Agree to the Terms of Service.

Player Jokes More Player Jokes

How did the basketball court get wet?

The players dribbled all over it!

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

Rude"olph

What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head?

Getting sleighed.

Anorexic Jokes More Anorexic Jokes

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast in infection?

A Quarter Pounder with cheese! Yum Yum

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent?

With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!

What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

They both work with crust.

Campaign Jokes More Campaign Jokes

How did Vladimir Lenin originally get into power?

This isn't just a campaign, this is a political

Why did Mike Dukakis lose the 1998 Presidential election?

He TANKED his campaign!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes?

The punchline is too long.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

Is just one of the questions I should have asked before buying a lighthouse....