Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What did the fast food employee do when he decided to quit?

He chicken tendered his resignation.

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How do you do it?

Me- "It's easy, I just gain weight."

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

What do you get when you hire an owl to babysit your kids?

A real hootenanny!

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

What does a stock broker and a gym rat have in common?

NEED MORE GAINS

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall?

Ulta Magnus!