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Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops at 3 ho's.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did the chicken decide not to cross the road?

Because it did.

Weight Jokes More Weight Jokes

How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight?

Because he chose from the kids menu

What does a bodybuilder do while waiting in a long line?

Weights

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did the man hire a Mexican gardener?

Because he was good at pulling weed

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

Gain Jokes More Gain Jokes

Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

What is worse than blacking out after a crazy night and losing money?

Blacking out and gaining money.

Jared Jokes More Jared Jokes

What does Santa Claus and Jared from Subway have in common?

They both leave kid's homes with empty sacks.

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

Mall Jokes More Mall Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What do you call an Autobot who works in an overpriced makeup store at the mall?

Ulta Magnus!