Grouch Jokes

How are Oscar the Grouch and the Olympic Diving Pools in Rio de Janeiro similar?

They're both green, smell like farts, and will stay that way for 47 years.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

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Rio De Janeiro Jokes More Rio De Janeiro Jokes

What Pokemon would you catch in Rio De Janeiro?

Zikachu.

What did the Russian athlete say when he was stung by a mosquito during the Summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro?

Zika blyat

One Jokes More One Jokes

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Ritz cracker?

Ones a snack cracker and the others a crack snacker.

Why hasn't Mexico got an Olympic team?

Because the ones who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?

Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)

How do you stay warm in a cold room?

You go to the corner cause it's always 90 degrees.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say when he saw this year's Oscar nominees?

All white, all white, all whiiiiiiiite...

Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

What's the difference between a camel and a Russian?

A camel can walk for 30 days without drinking but a Russian can drink for 30 days without walking.

Fart Jokes More Fart Jokes

Why did God make farts smell?

So that deaf people could enjoy them too.

How does Justin Beiber remove a condom?

He farts.