What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

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What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

What do they use to pay for things in the Vatican?

Paypal

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Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

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Who's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar im so sorry

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.