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Trouble Jokes

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Your Age Is Only Math
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Your Age Is Only Math

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Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

What did the boy say when he had trouble using glue?

I'm stuck.

What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with?

Ctrl+P

Why did the teacher have trouble controlling her pupils?

She was cross eyed.

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

Why did the chicken get into so much trouble?

Because of its fowl language.

What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door?

A nun with a javelin through her head

What is it a volcano has which gives him trouble erupting?

Eruptile dysfunction.

Love
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Love

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Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock?

He ran into trafiki.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

I didn't do it on Porpoise!!

Why didn't 2x befriend x2?

He had trouble integrating

How do you tell a racist joke without getting in trouble?

Write it down.

Why do women have trouble peeing in the morning?

You ever tried to open a grilled cheese sandwich

What kind of horse has trouble keeping track of his Macintosh?

An Appaloosa!

Why did the zombie turtle have so much trouble dancing?

Rigor tortoise.

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Which ones?

Wife: BLTOUR & E Me: Well, that could spell trouble

Everyday Deserves a Joke
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Everyday Deserves a Joke

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What did the seaweed say when it was in trouble?

Kelp me!

Why dont you like Taylor Swift?

Shes awesome!". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in.

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?

Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

Why do pirates have trouble walking?

Arrrr-thritis

Why do they have so much trouble with the phone systems in China?

Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs that someone's always Winging the Wong number.

How are you doing in arithmetic?

I've learned to add up the zeros but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

Why did Avogadro have trouble picking up chicks?

Because his number couldn't fit in their phones

Why do Communist Dictators have trouble getting their work done on time?

They're way too into Stalin

What did one plant say to the other plant that was annoying him?

Please leaf me alone! Or I'll tell my mom, and you'll get in trouble.

Why does Axl Rose have trouble getting his car fixed?

Because no one wants to feel his serpentine.

Love Card
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Love Card

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What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

Why did the pasta get in trouble?

Because he was stroganoff!

Why did the pirate have trouble with the alphabet?

Because his 'I' was all jacked up.

Why did the chiropractor have trouble waiting behind people?

Because he didn't know what alignment. I hope this one cracks you up!

Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble?

Because it was a wrapped scallion.

Why are Aluminum Phosphate ions so bad at math?

They have trouble forming solutions.

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

Why don't urologists hand out stickers their patients?

Because they are always telling them "You're in trouble"

Why did the Saudi restaurant get in trouble?

They put the Umm Ali next to the Baba Ghanoush.

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Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why was the poker game at the zoo cancelled?

Some believed that there was a cheetah among them.

What did one ghost say to another?

I'm sorry but I just don't believe in people.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

What does it mean when a chameleon cant change color?

Reptile - disfunction

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Where do Chinese people live?

Chinatown

What are you up to?

Her: I'm making Chinese. Me: Cloning's unethical. Hahaha just kidding. Make me a math tutor.

Boy Jokes More Boy Jokes

Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."

How do you separate the men from the boys in Sparta?

With a crowbar.

Receive Jokes More Receive Jokes

Why did Dr.Pepper blush?

He received a Sunkist from his Crush

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

Outlet Jokes More Outlet Jokes

Where do you buy clothes for baby owls?

The outlet

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

She forgot to use Spell Check.

Maintain Jokes More Maintain Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

What's your strongest trait?

My fingers. "No, like... Are you pinching me " GIVE ME fighting to maintain pinch THE JOB