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Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

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Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How are you supposed to buy a gift for your mom as an adult?

It's like, oh you gave birth to me Please enjoy this fancy candle.

Why did the guy that owned a chocolate building bang his mom?

Because he had an edible complex.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend?

I just need some space.

How many protestors do you need to change a lightbulb?

Trick question. Protestors don't change anything.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What did Water say to Fire when they met for the first time?

Shhhhhhh.

What do you get when The Dark Knight meets Edgar Allan Poe?

X-post from r/funny) Poetic Justice(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblrme6ovqdnAp1rzkyaxo1500.png)

Teacher Jokes More Teacher Jokes

What do you call the teacher who lost her baby?

Miss Carriage

What do you call the teacher who's late?

Mister bus

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

What moved less than Jenny McCarthy's forehead tonight?

Mariah Carey's mouth.

Who's there! Cantaloupe! Cantaloupe who?

Cantaloupe with you tonight!