What is wrong with me?

Asking for a friend..

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How do you get spiderwebs out of your hair?

Asking because Spider-Man... I mean... Just asking.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.

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What Pixar movie will Rick Astley never let you borrow?

He's never gonna give you Up! Credit to my friend who doesn't even Reddit.

What do you call your friend Splee at a soiree?

A PARTY SPLUNGE!