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What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Where did our son go?

What son *Dad cries with joy

Why did the cheese cry?

It was degrating.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Where are the groceries?

ME: Bacon was on sale. WIFE: Oh god, what does that mean *sound of dump truck backing into driveway*

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What did the priest say to the child at the playgrounds?

Its a slippery slope.

How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?

Let's go ride our bikes!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Where do cats go when they die?

Purrgutory.

Why are all the plants at the retirement home made of silk and plastic?

Because everything that stays there just ends up dying.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated

What programs do cultists watch shows on?

Ct-hulu

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fish!

Why was the fish swimming backwards?

It didn't want to get water in its eyes.