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What makes a grown man cry?

Watching his wife and children die before his eyes.

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

How are babies different from feminists?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Why did the little black kid start crying when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

What did the necrophiliac get after his wife died?

Mourning wood.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What chord does a piano make when it drops on a child?

A-flat minor

Where would Helen Keller park her car?

On top of three children.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Which one is the boy you've been seeing?

New GF: *sees me playing accordion* He died

Why don't they call the Batman film "The White Knight" instead of "The Dark Knight"?

Because no one would care that he died.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

When you have the choice between cleaning the bath or doing some sport... which series do you watch?

D

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

How'd you sleep last night?

Son says: "umm... With my eyes closed " Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl.

What do you call a fish without any eyes?

Boneless chicken